At one time or another, we all have set a goal for ourselves. If you say that you haven’t, you are lying to yourself. It’s alright to admit to those goals, even if they were a little silly, even if we never reached that goal.
When we set a goal then reach it, it’s a great feeling. You feel good inside, maybe even pat yourself on the back for a job well done. On the flip side, when we set a goal and don’t reach it, the feeling isn’t so good. We all have different ways of how we deal with a failed goal. Some of us brush it off and set another goal, while a failed goal for some may result in resisting to pursue another.
Here are two things I want you to understand as you go through life:
For the ones you accomplish, great! For the ones you don’t, so what? Move on to the next one. It’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t matter in what arena you set a goal in, be it fitness, professional, or some form of personal goal, your duty is to give it your best effort. As long as you do that, whatever the outcome may be, just live with it. It is what it is. No use in harping over the failures. Learn from what happened and move on.
Sometimes with our goals, we set them to be out of reach, unrealistic, or unattainable, and set ourselves up for failure.
Whatever your goal is, whether it is small or large, develop a plan of action. You may have heard of the acronym SMART coined by Peter Drucker. It stands for:
Specific - simple, sensible
Measurable - indicator of progress, motivating
Achievable - attainable
Realistic - state what results can be achieved, given available resources
Time-related - specify when the result, or results, can be achieved
This is a great way to break down your goals, and ensure that you are setting yourself up for success.
Let’s learn from our mistakes, and limit our failures. Make sure we put ourselves in the best position to accomplish as much as we can. Let’s begin to raise the bar.
It was the fall of 2014 and I had just finished a nice upper body workout. My brother and his friend came into the gym and asked me to take yoga. Huh? Yoga?
I had heard of Yoga before and knew about it, but me, Vandie Barnard, taking a Yoga class? Unheard of. Don’t get me wrong, I had nothing against Yoga. I respected those that did it and the teachers that instructed it. I just didn’t need Yoga. I already made sure to stretch after each of my workouts, so I was good.
I declined my brother and his friend’s frequent attempts and went about my day….
Fast-forward a couple weeks later, and once again after finishing a workout, my brother and his friend had just finished their workout as well, they said they were going to take Yoga. Once again they asked me to take the class with them. This time they insisted even more that I do it. They told me I’d thank them after class. This time around I decided to give it a try, I had some spare time.
I was ready for the stereotypes, preparing in my mind that we were going to be surrounded by a bunch of women.
We enter the room and grab some mats. The majority of class were females, however there were a few more men in the class than I expected, besides us. A couple minutes later, another gentleman walks in with his mat to the front of the room and began setting up. I whispered and asked my bro, “Is that the teacher?” He nodded his head, yes.
I was surprised! A male teaching Yoga!? I had never heard of that!
After class my brother and his friend asked me how it was. I looked at them and responded: “I enjoyed every second of it!”. Not only was I stretched out and feeling loose, I felt relaxed. I felt calmed. I felt invigorated.
From that moment on, I fell in love with yoga. My stereotypes were rendered as trash since I saw a male instructing Yoga. I took it upon myself to become a certified Yoga instructor.
3 years later, and I continue to spread the benefits of Yoga and teach others. Every class I teach is a joy for me, and whenever someone new becomes a regular to my class, it fuels me that much more. I recommend everyone to take a Yoga class, if you have not already. There are many different styles of Yoga, doesn’t matter which you take. We’ll break down some of the different types in another post, but my favorite to teach is power Yoga. Releasing the tension in your muscles while also strengthening your body is a feeling like none other. Not to mentioned how relaxed and calm you feel afterwards.
If you haven’t taken a class, or haven’t take one in a while, I implore you to do Yoga. Give it a try. Don’t be like I was and knock it before trying it. I guarantee it’ll be a great experience that you won’t regret.
There’s that four letter word…no, not the other four letter word you’re thinking about. Or that other, other four letter word… I’m talking about that four letter word….ok, not that one either! (Let’s keep it PG here). I’m talking about, fear.
So what is fear? Webster’s dictionary describers fear as ‘an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat’. Ugh. Sounds pretty dreadful, doesn’t it?
Nobody likes to be fearful, yet it is something that we all experience. Think about a time you were in fear of something. Maybe it was a test, asking someone out, starting a new task or job, or moving to a new place. Fear can come from many different angles.
But here is the thing I want to tell you about fear. You can overcome it! In our definition of fear, I want to point out one key word: emotion. An emotion is a feeling that can be changed, or its something that is temporary. Though fear may try to creep in, we cannot let it get the best of us. As with any emotion, we can control it, or be controlled by it. Don’t let fear control you.
When fear begins to enter into your mind, you need to shift your thinking. Pause, take a second, take a deep breath, gather yourself and bring yourself to a state of calmness.
Then tell fear to get the heck up out the way! You have to let fear know that it doesn’t control you. You have to tell fear that it doesn’t have the power over you. In order for you to be great, to reach your destination, accomplish that task, ace that test, you cannot let fear hold you back. Because on the other side of fear is everything that you are hoping for. That dream you are trying to accomplish, that promotion you seek, that hurdle you’ve been trying to hop. Now is your time to grab it. But you have to tell fear to get out the way, and then grab it!
I don’t know about y’all, but I’m not fearing anything but the Man upstairs!
So tell fear, begone!!
I remember one time having a conversation with a member at my church. This was about a year after I graduated college. I was a year into working at a Gold’s Gym, building my brand as a Personal Trainer. She asked me ‘what do you want to do with your life?’ I told her that I’m doing what I want to do with my life. I am in the industry I love and I get to make a difference in people’s lives everyday. She then proceeded to ask me ‘what are your long terms goals?’ I told her I wanted to open my own studio, have my own PT business.
You want to know what happened next? You can probably guess. She began to tell me every reason under the Lord’s great Earth why that wasn’t possible and why I couldn’t and shouldn’t go down this route. I listened to her ramble on, but with every excuse she came up with I could feel myself becoming more and more agitated.
Fast forward now, and I have my own growing fitness coaching business (thanks to all of you!). However that doesn’t stop the chatter. That doesn’t stop people telling me how I’m wasting my time or how I should be doing something different, or something ‘safe’.
Years ago, I would have continually become frustrated in my conversations with these individuals and would have wanted to go back and forth with them until the sun and moon collided. However now I am at a different stage and different point in life.
I realize that not everyone is on my level. Now, I don’t mean to say that in a condescending tone, but it’s true. Just as in the same sense, not everyone may be on your level. Everyone is not going to where you are, or meant to go where you are. And that’s okay, that’s perfectly fine. Where you’re going is not for them. If you know your path, your vision, where you’re called to: then stick to that path and don’t let the outside noise influence you in any other direction.
Think of it this way. If I want to make chicken scampi and had never made it before, I’m not going to ask someone that hasn’t done it before or take advice from them if the only thing they know how to cook is a bowl of cereal.
If someone hasn’t done something before or been to where you are going, how much stock can you really put into what they are telling you? All they are telling you is what they know, and what they are accustomed to.
You have to talk to people that have been, or are at the level that you are headed.
So let those that want to talk, talk. Let them stay on their level, and you rise to yours.
Your fitness guide, your motivation, your inspiration!